To begin with I am Mohammed Thousif author, trainer, blogger and professor. Recently, I started a blog called www.knowhowpedia.com with the intention of developing students and preparing them to become ready. I am glad to great support from all the student community and eminent people from both industry and academics. I once again all of them for their immense support, trust, and faith in my work. I would like to bring an important article, 5 styles of Communication and the best style to use for the students and Jobseekers.
Coming to the point, In this article, I would like to highlight the five major communication styles by Victoria Satir, a family therapist in America. She is recognized for her contribution in family conflict resolution. I am glad that I have a chance to put light on her work and use the same technique in understanding the communication styles of the people.
Further, in this article, I would emphasize the important style that can be incorporated to make the effectiveness of communication. In general, there are three parties in any communication namely the Self, other and the context or the environment during the communication process.
Virginia Satir categories are taken as a base for communication by Richard Brandler and John Grinder, Founders of Neuro-linguistic programming. Furthermore, Virginia has categorized styles into five different styles. Let us look at the category in brief.
5 different types of Communication Styles
5 styles of Communication and the best style to use is purely focuses on various styles and thier personality, actions and behaviors. Usually, you may find this type of communication style a lot these days. In fact, people with this style deny accepting others and blame other people and things for anything. They would like to win in any communication transaction and show a lot of feelings to prove themselves. They want people to listen to them and it is the matter of their prestige. However, this style leads to a lot of psychological and physiological diseases such as stress, hypertension, etc.
Moreover, Blamers tend to find faults in others and use their style to boss around. They manipulate things and dominate and do not take responsibility and accounts of the problems they face in life. They often shout at others and perceive that no one is there to support them. Surprisingly, they believe no one better than them in any aspect of life. The word apology or sorry is missing from their dictionary. They always try to be away from people who point out the faults in them. According to Satir, this is one of the unproductive styles of communication.
In contrast, placaters think quite opposite to the blamers. They often try to convince everybody and soothe and please others. Even though things go wrong in their life because of others, they want to take the blame. Hence, they seek the approval of others in all the decisions they make. Sadly, their major fear is that others may abandon or angry at them.
To their credit, because of their apologetic nature, they tend to win favors of others. For instance, they are far from confronting and disagreement with others. In addition, They suppress their voice and their individuality in the race of pleasing others. Unfortunately, people who placate often act as a chameleon, they can get down to any level because of their sense of insecurity.
Obviously, the name itself talks about the nature of the communication style of computers. Hence, the people who use computing style tend to separate themselves from their feelings. According to them, the words mean a lot and the associated feelings have no space at all. Furthermore, they never bring their feelings in to picture and behave logically in a controlled manner.consequently, they develop a fear of expressing their feelings. Honestly speaking, they always live in their head.
In comparison to other styles, computers are usually less spoken, calculated and live a logical approach to life. Commonly, the people with computing style use words such as analyze, calculate, think logical and it’s not feasible, etc. Therefore, Virginia considered this style as one of the unproductive methods of communication. According to her, any communication has two dialogues – the dialogue of word and the dialogue of feelings.
The fourth distinguished style of communication named as a distracter. This is one of the unusual behavior or communicating style we often come across. Usually, people with this style distract themselves and others with their unpredictable behavior. Hence, this may confuse and create problems for both parties. One of the noticeable characteristics of these people, they never do or act in line with the conversation. They tend to bring irrelevant topics and doesn’t let other people finish the conversation. Therefore, it frustrates others. They get disconnected easily during the conversation and jump into another irrelevant. This kind of behavior is easily observed by others.
According to Satir, they are more or less psychologically disturbed, restless, unstable, erratic, varied pitch and fast that hinder the relationship and trust. In other words, it’s an imbalance state of mind keep them away from feelings and emotions of oneself and others. Finally, it is almost impossible to deal with such people because it is tough to trust their words as they change them frequently and the body language nowhere relevant to what they intend to say. Hence, the therapist finds these people difficult to deal with them.
Finally, In this article – 5 styles of Communication and the best style to use by Virginia Satir. We have emphasized on all the styles and now
However, the major differentiation between other styles and leveler is their congruent response. Both dialogues I.e., the dialogue of words and the dialogue of feelings pass the same message, unlike other styles.
Finally, I would like to conclude, I would like to suggest some of the points that students need to learn to become a leveler.
How to build a Leveler communication style:
- Use the words, tone, body language and feelings express the same intention and has to be congruent.
- Be an active listener and try to find solutions rather than focusing on the problem.
- Always be positive and keep a good intention in any given situation and in any action you take.
- Develop good belief and attitude towards yourself and others.
- Always build strong ethics, morals and values which you operate from.
- Try not to be rigid and always keep room for others viewpoint. In other words, be flexible in communicating with others.
- It’s better not to dominate on others rather build a strong rapport before influencing or convincing others.
Let the emotions flow with the words, don’t suppress them.
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